1-11-2004
it was still nice of them to invite me
even after everyone else was there
the noise, the laughter, the children
it all makes my heart smile
then the time came to say goodbye
little girl kisses and grown up hugs
one by one, tracks in the snow
as i made my way to my truck
laughing with the little one
saying bye to grandma and grandpa
hugs once again, then it began to hit
as i continued to walk -not looking back
dad had to say goodbye again
and my voice crackled through the dark
i know he heard it, he had to have
i tried to escape without notice
i tried.
the tears fell as i held the wheel
pushing through the newly fallen snow
what is normally 15 minutes took 30
by then the tears had dried
face beginning to tighten
feeling the salt imbibe my eyelids
it's quiet now. completely silent
only the keys as i type
i have no feeling now but numbness
for i don't know what to feel
the fear, from the past is lurking
the black hole is there but i won't look
i will awaken tomorrow
it will seem like they're still here
they'll be having fun, i know
and for that i am happy
i will feel an empty space here
in my quiet cavern of blankets and purries
and the next day will come
and the next
and i will be here.
© 2004
Ginamarina
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