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....ginamarina's world....
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5/28/2004 Helpless Against the Unilluminated.Am i part of the problem or part of the solution? Both? Feeling someone you love in pain and feeling so helpless, against the Dark. maybe this simulates what I've done to other people before, the passive aggression... How can I fix something I didn't break? Yet how can he fix someone he didn't break... Anger seems normal when you've been accused of something like pussywhipping... Yet when the sources are never direct, how do you really know? Who is the Dark? And even if, even if, my anger actualized... What could I do anyway? What if I marched right up to to the Dark, confronted. Would the Dark lie to my face, or slam the door? Why do *I* feel the need to fix this? Because the Dark hates him because of me. He's not too weak to stand up for himself That's how things got like this. The Dark insisted he was weak and powerless Gullible and feeble and infirm. The Dark is wrong. Yet he pities the Dark. He wants to protect the Dark, in his own right. Or is the lament the absolute rancor of not having any control of what is circulating? Of what *they* are saying, aspiring the truth to *them*? Or possibly defying the Dark's indirectness, it's sinuous messages, never forthright. The Dark, though my enemy in its eyes, means not to punish me, I merely conduit. Is the Dark punishing itself, or trying to punish him. Is reconstruction within my means? or is the Dark to be left alone to spiral and distort and writhe like a dandelion seed in the wind?
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