....ginamarina's world....
 

10-17-00

The Flight Home

Bittersweet day, today.
On an airplane half way
    between here and there
    fantasy and reality
    vacation and real life.

Certainly I miss my family
    and of course my precious cats
    but the pain, the loneliness of my
    real life, I didn't miss this past week.

Saying goodbye to relatives who treated
    me so well, and welcomed me into their lives -
    saying goodbye was painful too.
    When will I be here again?

Now I return to the troubled life I
    ran away from. I suppose only
    to pick up where I left off. Can I
    change it now? Did I gain something?

I found out more people love me
    than I thought. I found I could live
    relatively without pain for an
    entire week, did I just buy time?

Will the demons be waiting at my
    door upon arrival? Do I own a
    house of pain? or do I
    carry it on my back?

I wonder can I start anew?
    It seems I feel loss no matter
    where I go or what I do. Just
    keep wishing for an answer.

Hoping it is somewhere
    between here and there.

 

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